This is the language of desperation with a veneer of optimistic ambition flying under the odious banner of “you can do it, yes you can!”.

Interview Question

Your resume shows that you changed jobs, moving from one industry to another, more than once in the last year. Why is that?

Real Answer

I’m desperate to pay the bills and I haven’t the faintest idea what I should be doing with my life. I thought I liked Job X but turns out I’m inept when it comes to that kinda work. A friend told me to apply at her place. I did. It sucked. She left. I stayed for another three months out of fear, desperation and lack of options.

Corporate Shmorprate Answer

During college I met a successful entrepreneur who advised me to diversify my work experience. I took his advice and mapped out a four-stage career-to-retirement plan. Each phase lasts five years. As well, each phase has one measurable key objective with multiple measurable subordinate objectives.

Here’s how it works: I take inventory of progress every quarter and compile an annual journal containing the previous year’s summary of accomplishments as well as modifications to future goals & objectives based on the previous year’s experience.

What may appear, at first glance, as lunatic job-hopping commonly associated with adolescent pot-smokers and wannabe rock stars, is in fact, part of a four-stage career-to-retirement strategy. The first stage, anyway.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to “speak to that”.